I THINK I AM SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH IKEMEFUNA!
---YES WAY! ---
Ikemefuna is like the son that i have always dreamt about having. He actually might be the only son who fits me. I am not ashamed of him.
---I feel more affection for him then for Ezinma---
Ikemefuna, ‘he grew rapidly like a yam tendril in the rainy season.’ Ikemefuna was no failure. It was just sheer unluckiness to his impending, tragic fate – his death. Ikemefuna was growing, harvesting to be a real man, somebody who could amazingly be at the standards of ME as a real man.
Though ‘the young tendrils were protected’, it was because of ME being afraid of being mocked at for being scared to what will happen, was one of the main cause of Ikemefuna death.
Ikemefuna is like a yam; strong, masculine man, but still in harvesting. He had a good, future ahead of him of being a successful tribal man. Ikemefuna ‘was full of sap’, but now no more.
BECAUSE OF ME.
--- THIS CUP OF LOVE HAS BEEN EMPTIED OUT AS IT THE LOVE HAS BEEN SPILLED, ALL OVER THE DIRTY GROUND.---
*CONFESSION*
I MADE IKEMEFUNA RUN AWAY FROM LIFE, MORE LIKE DEPART FROM THIS WORLD.
I HAVE GONE DOWN TO A LEVEL IN MY HEART THAT IS UNREACHEABLE. A LEVEL WHEREBY NO COMPASSION, LOVE AND FAITH CAN BE FOUND.
IT IS A PLACE WHERE BITTENESS, COLD AND EVEN THE ICE QUEEN CAN BE FOUND.
I HAVE KILLED TO IMPROVE MY STATUS IN THE IBO SOCIETY, OR AT LEAST THAT WAS WHAT I THOUGHT. I COULD NOT BEAR THE GUILT AND I KNEW THAT MY HEART COULD NOT TAKE THE PAIN WHEN THE DEATH HAPPENS...
---NO REGRETS---
NO! I DID IT FOR MYSELF. HE WAS useless. HE WAS NOT EVEN part of the family. HE always got on my nerves. HE spent too much time with nwoye. He deserved to die.
--- TEARS ---
I JUST COULD NOT TAKE THE SHAME AND THE MOCKING FROM OTHER PEOPLE. SAYING THAT I DO NOT HAVE THE GUTS OR I'M LIKE A AGBALA.
...the things that i have done has hurt me as well. i need help. i need to gorget about that unoka. i need to change. turn over a new leaf. i need help.
